Happy Gotcha day

WOW she is really enjoying that cupcake!

My three beautiful children

Ellie and Mom ~ year number one!!

Tuesday October 6th was Ellie's "Gotcha day." We had a little party for her and she got to use the "you are special "plate for her dinner. She also picked out a cute little Hello Kitty cake with cupcakes around it for dessert! She loved the attention but wasn't sure exactly why we where doing these things. She said to me at least four times....but Ma I still 5. I would repeat again that it wasn't her birthday it was her adoption day. The day we came to China and got her! I think next year she will understand everything much better!! Hopefully by then she will also be less upset by the idea of this whole adoption thing. She had it good in China, great foster parents and big sister, "school" all day at the orphanage with special friends, and all the sugary bubblegum she could chew!! (Which did eventually lead to very unpleasant dental visits here in the U.S. ~ but that is another whole post!) I like to think of my son Rorey, happy here with us and then some Chinese family shows up and takes him off to China to be their son. Really that is how it was for Ellie. She "knew" that they were not her forever family. But her heart didn't know!! From four months until 4.5 years she lived with them, then WE showed up and took here away from all of it!! So I try daily to remember how hard that would be for such a little girl. I know she is attaching to us, it's just a slow process. Three steps forward, two steps back!! Hey that still adds up to one step forward!!

Year one down, a lifetime to go!!

Tuesday was the one year anniversary of Ellie's adoption! I'm in awe that a whole year has actually passed! It seems like just a few months ago we stood in that dark government hallway anxiously and watched our four year old daughter walk into our lives. After nearly two years of deciding and planning and chasing paperwork there she was. Our lives will never be the same again, and neither will Ellie's. I'd like to tell you that this year has been wonderful, that Ellie fit right into our family, that it was easy. That would not be true. Adopting any child is a challenge, but an older child is a large adjustment. Was is worth it? Absolutely! Would we do it again? Definitely! We love her and she loves us, but Ellie is smart. She knows she lost her past to be here with us, and sometimes she is still upset about it. I encourage her to talk about China and her foster family as much as possible, but remind her that this is her "forever family." I tell her it is OK to cry because she misses them, but not OK to scream for them when she is in trouble for hitting her brother. We are teaching her that she is Chinese and that it's a good thing. I never want her to feel uncomfortable with who she is, or be ashamed that she was adopted into our family unlike her brothers. Life has changed forever here in our house. Not just for us and Ellie but also for our boys.